My earliest memory of my folks: I would say they were relaxed. As I got a little older, Dad did not engage with the three of us. To my knowledge, and maybe faulty memories, it seemed Mom was the organizer of all family activities. She planned and implemented all the fun in our household.
If anyone needed discipline, Mom took charge of that as well. When she caught me doing something I shouldn't, I remember her telling me to go to her closet and get a hanger. That was agony; my imagination ran wild. By the time I got back to her, hanger in hand, I got a lecture, then the promise to never do it again. She never hit me.
When they entered their midlife crisis with alcohol, then they became absentee parents. I was sent to Nana and Papa's house for weekends and most of the summer. When they divorced, Mom left the house; then I would go between Mom's apartment, but she was not there very much. So I moved in with my dad. After I had a car, I moved in with Nana and Papa.
They got back together again when I was 16. Happily I was married to Jerry at 17.
The culture changed so much while I was growing up. In the 50s, divorce was less common; then in the sixties, it became more common for many reasons. I do not think my experience was unusual. It was my baby boomer generation that rebelled more than my parents' generation. So I will not throw any stones.
Later in life, they were married again, and enjoyed family and friends in their home in Cathedral City. They seemed to love each other. After Mom died of cancer in her sixties, Dad grieved and carried on with the things he loved to do, like having family and friends over for dinner or a longer stay. He loved people.
In the last season of their lives, they were both mellow. However, Mom on occasion would call out silly behavior on my part — in a relaxed way, of course. I loved that she cared enough to do that.
Related people
Mom, Dad, Nana, Papa