Who Inspires Me

Who inspires me? My first response is Jesus! The One who gives me life and breath, who leads, all the while protecting me along this challenging journey here on earth. His very name brings me joy and hope for the future.

Here is how He came to inspire me.

In my formative years, while my parents were in midlife crisis, I lived off and on with my grandparents. There, at about nine years old, I became involved with some older kids who lived in Nana and Papa's neighborhood. I learned of things from them that I was not ready for. By sixteen, I had a car and was raising myself. I felt abandoned, ashamed, betrayed, and emotionally broken. Over the years I was betrayed by the adults I went to for help in various and cruel ways. Then in my junior year of high school I cut more classes than I attended (32 times in one semester), and did not feel I could dig out of the mess I made for myself. I was without hope. I made the decision to commit suicide.

I chose the day, prepared, and decided to pray. I asked God if He were real, to save me from death. I woke up sometime later, recovered over weeks, but with the knowledge that there is a God and He saved me from death. I had some hope, and a new beginning. A year later, I met and married Jerry (John).

Although I did not have a relationship with Jesus, I learned of His ways over the next fifteen years, because John loved me unconditionally, showed me grace, and lived a life of integrity. In addition to John's example, my brother, sister-in-law, sister, and brother-in-law, and my mother all decided to be Jesus followers; they were different somehow. Then in 1979, my boys became followers of Jesus at Vacation Bible School. I was amazed how all these people seemed so different to me, especially my sons.

In August of that year, John took the boys and my dad for a week-long fishing trip to June Lake. I was alone for the first time since I was married. I planned to hang out with friends and drink. But no one was home. I became restless and bored. With nothing else to do, I started reading a book my son Steve had given me. It was on a popular subject at the time — the return of Jesus — called "A New World Coming" by Hal Lindsey.

I found it incredible, if true. To see if this could be true, I picked up John's Bible and started reading the Book of Revelation. I could not stop reading! When I got to chapter 21:1-4, I understood: yes, He is coming again, and He will wipe every tear from our eyes; there will be no more death, or mourning, or crying, or pain, for the old order of things will pass away! My heart melted. At that time, I understood it to mean: He loves me, He cares about my brokenness, and He will heal me from my past. All I need to do is surrender to Him.

An internal battle pursued. My rebellion was strong, but after an unknown length of time, Jesus's love overcame my willfulness. I was a new woman in Christ. It was as if He washed all the shame and brokenness away. I wept.

From that moment on I have been inspired by Jesus — His life, His example, His sacrifice and victory over death and evil. He continues to inspire me through the power of the Holy Spirit moment by moment. He taught me to love and honor His Father. I have His love, power, wisdom, protection, and purpose in Jesus available to me now and forever.

How can I not be inspired?

(I capitalize all pronouns in reference to God as a personal way of exalting the Lord above all others.)