A Father's Perspective on Parenthood and Abortion

A Man's Point of View

Obviously, a man's point of view is completely different than that of a woman, particularly in the case of parenthood vs. abortion. During the pregnancies and subsequent parenthood that we have experienced, I have come to believe that a father, husband, or boyfriend should not attempt to force or participate in a decision for a woman or girl to have an abortion.

There are many reasons for my opinion, but I would like to point out three strong ones. These are not biblical, but rather practical, human reasons.

First: Abortion Decisions Are Emotional, Not Rational

Any decision for an abortion is emotional, not rational. When Susie became pregnant with our first child, as you can easily see from her testimony, we were in an embarrassing situation, combined with what seemed like a financial disaster. We were emotional wrecks, both individually and as a couple. Fortunately, as has been true all our lives, God used this experience to make us happy and to glorify Him.

My chosen field was business and having a child at that time caused me to work harder than I might otherwise have and set me on the road to a fulfilling career. Our first child, Steven, has just completed a six month discipleship training program in India and intends on completing his college education to go into full-time Christian service.

Any emotional decision to have an abortion at that time would have thwarted my business career by making me a different person and certainly would have deprived God of what we hope will be a dedicated effective worker.

Second: Abortion Is Selfish and Short-Sighted

An abortion is an extremely selfish and short-sighted decision, participating not only in the killing of a human life, but depriving the woman of the opportunity to be a mother and fulfill one of her principal reasons for being, depriving your family and friends of the joy that always accompanies the birth of a baby.

There are many varieties of this selfishness, but one that I am closest to is when your wife becomes pregnant after you think you've had your last child and are making plans for freedom from the little darlings. I was looking forward to this freedom when Susie told me she was pregnant again. If the rest of the family was here, especially the grandparents, I am sure they would tell you that our youngest child, Jason, has brought at least as much if not more joy and downright fun to our family as any other single person or thing.

Third: A Stumbling Block to a Godly Life

My experience tells me that participating in a decision for abortion would be a serious stumbling block in anyone's commitment to a happy and godly life. A casual reading of the Bible tells us God created the family unit by instructing man and woman to cleave together and have children. I believe God wants us to follow His will and provides great fun while we are doing so. We certainly have the most fun when we are interacting with others and are most fulfilled when we are following Jesus' commandment to love one another.

Outside of the commitment and love of a husband and wife, the most fulfilling experience I have had is the love of my children, particularly the deep love and commitment that my second son, Mike, has to the family. Whenever I look at Mike, I understand what a great and glorious gift God gave us with His design for the family unit.

Abortion Offered Casually

You know, abortion is a casual thing today, offered in an offhand manner by doctors for any reason. This was true as early as 1973, just after legalization. We were surprised by Susie's pregnancy; she was not supposed to be able to get pregnant. The doctor, just recognizing our surprise, offered abortion as an alternative.

I urge each of you not to consider abortion for any reason, least of all its easy availability.

God Is the Creator

Outside of the joy of knowing our Lord, Jesus Christ, and being a part of His family, I don't believe there is anything more that we could wish for each and every one of you who are going to have a child or more children than that you recognize that God is the Creator, that He causes a pregnancy to happen in His time, and if you let His will be done, instead of imposing your will or that of the enemy, God will surely bless you and your family with a unique and wonderful experience.