How My Relationship with My Siblings Changed

When I was young, Jim, Paula, and I were just living in the same house; we did not have a relationship. Because they were eight and seven years my senior, really, I was just the baby sister. As they became teenagers, I was somewhat envious of the things they got to do.

But I admired them as well. Jim was involved in youth leadership, in school, church, and the YMCA; he was even on a TV show highlighting the leaders of tomorrow, called "Spotlight on Youth." After he graduated high school, he joined the Navy. He got seasick on a docked ship, so he served on land in an administrative role. When his time in the Navy ended, he worked into the retail business.

Paula was very popular in high school. I remember her getting ready for various dances and events. Paula had various boyfriends over time. She also worked in a women's retail shop called Pete Peters. That is how she could buy all her very stylish clothes, like angora sweaters, and all the latest outfits. After high school, she got a job as a teller at a bank in town, where she met her future husband, Jim Pease.

In contrast, I would play outside, go to elementary school, then off to Nana and Papa's on the weekend. All that to say, as siblings we were not close when we were young.

As we got older and had families of our own, we got together at holidays, or other family gatherings. On occasion, the six of us would do things together. Once we all went to the October 4, 1965, UCI campus opening held at the future site of Fashion Island. I was pregnant and overdue with Steve (his birthday is Oct. 26), but we could not miss this outing. It was a magical night. We rode up the escalator, and at the top we could see the Newport Coast and the Pacific. Near the escalator was the duo who had the best sound. The female lead singer also played the drums; the male singer played the keyboard. That was our introduction to Karen and Richard Carpenter. As we walked along there were food and drink stations at every turn, and different spectacular views. We were able to attend this private event because Jim Pease worked for one of the investing banks into the building of UCI.

Later, Jim and Pam bought a house in Orange (where Pam lives today), and they were involved with church, work, and family, so we really only saw them on occasion. We did celebrate Christmas together at our house. Jim was a big help in the kitchen.

Paula and Jim went to Palm Springs on weekends, and bought a little condo. Our folks bought one as well, and finally John and I did too. So our new meeting place was Palm Springs. Until Jim Pease died while playing tennis. He was 42 years old. Jason and his papa were witnesses.

We all gathered around Paula, but especially Mom and Dad.

As time marched on, Mom and Dad lived in a very nice detached condo home. They loved it there. John and I had a second home at the Lakes in Palm Desert. Paula lived there full time and worked at a church in Palm Desert as the administrator. We would see her at the Lakes every chance we could get.

Then Mom was diagnosed with terminal pancreatic cancer; she lived a year and a half after her diagnosis. Jim Reece tried his best to be a help, but it was all overwhelming for him. Paula and I grew closer as we faced the end of our mom's life on hospice, together. Paula, still living near Mom, helped her with her administrative tasks, and with doctor visits, if Dad wasn't available. Jim and I worked at a church in Tustin, so I could keep him up to date.

As the end came for Mom, she asked us all to come — her kids and grandchildren. Jim, Pam, and their kids could not be there. However, the rest of us gathered around while Mom said her goodbyes, and thanks to each of us one at a time. Then Paula, Steve, and I remained while the rest went home. Mom slept most of the time, but on my birthday, she rallied, and with Dad's help, arranged for Paula and me to go out to dinner. We had a very special time together, bonding through grief. When we got back, Mom had sent Dad out to get a pie; he put a birthday candle in it, and we celebrated my birthday together. That was the last time she was awake and talking. Two days later, with Dad, Paula, Steve, and I gathered around her, Dad saying such wonderful things to her, she took her last breath.

Paula and I continued doing things together and celebrating birthdays or holidays.

Jim became quite ill, and after years as a shut-in, he ended up in a hospice facility, where he died.

Paula retired from work, then in time, decided to move to Virginia to live with Steffani and Mike. Funny how things go — we talked more after she moved than while she was here. I loved talking with her. She told me all about her new life, how great it was to be with Steff and Mike. How scary it was to learn to drive in a new town. But all in all, she loved going with Steff to be with friends, host, bake, and attend the same church. She even got to go to special, invitation-only political events, because Mike worked for the RNC. She loved Christmas at the White House. She sent me pictures and just raved about it. I can't say for sure, but I think living with Steff and Mike was the highlight of her life.

She is with Jesus now, as well.

I sure miss Jim and Paula, and think of times we shared together. The joy is we will be with Jesus together someday. I think they will have a lot to tell me about living a new life.