Here is the thing — anything that contributes to a happy relationship shouldn't be a secret! But I find a couple of things pretty important in relationship.
No matter what kind of a relationship we are talking about, respect and courtesy for one another is key, and in a marriage relationship, it is vital. I am talking about a thoughtful, sincere desire and willingness to actively invest in another's wellbeing. And these are two wonderful actions to develop.
Here is one definition of respect: esteem for or a sense of the worth or excellence of a person, a personal quality or ability, or something considered as a manifestation of a personal quality or ability.
And here is a definition of courtesy: a courteous, respectful, or considerate act or expression. Favor, help, or generosity.
Respect and courtesy are important attributes of love. I think that listening, offering thoughtful replies, and acquiescing to another's needs goes a very long way in relationship building. Also, verbalizing another's attributes is important, because it helps to build into another, and at the same time helps us to recall their attributes. We all want to be seen and heard.
Offering respect and courtesy in relationships can help us begin to put other's needs before our own needs, which is an excellent building block for our own character.
Loving another well, and long term, requires effort. Investing in another has great returns that is well worth the effort. I consider respect and courtesy a wonderful starting place in a new relationship, that should be continually improved upon as the years go on.
Don't keep any good thing a secret! Let your relationships be an example of care for another. Let your respect for one another shine!
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John